Sheesh

Last week was filled with sickness. Oliver was really sick, therefore my week was really busy. I really dislike it when I post about trying to be committed and then it just falls short. Ok, nothing happened after that last post. Still vegetarian though. LOL. I'm like the little engine that could, "I think I can, I think I can....."

Only 3 more weeks of this quarter then I have a nice lovely 2 week break. Connor is currently rolling grapefruit around the kitchen floor as I sneak these moments to ungush my brain. Here goes:

Breakfast and snacks: Juice of oranges, grapefruits, romaine, and celery

Lunch: Kale avo salad with cherry tomatoes

Dinner: Not sure yet, I still have some left over juice but I'm thinking a protein smoothie

Workout: None today except for keeping up with the kiddos

Daily goals:

• 1 page (intro) of my policy paper written
• Review of my slides for 2 presentations
• Billpay/housekeeping
• Vaccuum the house

So yesterday consisted of 3 juices (beet, beet greens, cucumber, celery, kale, and green apple), a big salad of romaine with Annie's Goddess dressing and some mashed tofu and artichoke tapenade.  I then went and picked Jake up from school and went to the gym. I was pretty tired and only managed about 15 minutes of stationary bike and then about 15 minutes in the sauna (heaven). I had some baked snap peas after and 3/4 of a 16 oz fit and slim smoothie from Emerald City Smoothie (made with almond milk and soy protein). I went to hang out with my parents after, killing time until traffic subsided so that I could go get the kiddos from Mill Creek. Realized that I was hungry again after the visit with my parents so Jake and I settled (for both ease and time wise) on BK because they offer a veggie burger which is actually very good. I'm not sure if it is vegan (I need to check) but I ruined my goal by allowing them to put cheese on it.  I also had a medium fries with the burger, DOH! Drove up, got the kids, came back, stopped at Safeway for ingredients for vegan french toast and came home. It was about 1045pm by the time we got home and Oliver just got home from work and guess what he brought home? PIZZA!!! I kept telling myself I'm not even hungry which I wasn't but the overwhelming smell had me scarfing down a few pieces of the blasphemous pizza. Uggh.

So while I mostly vegan again yesterday and I calmly (ok mostly calmly) explained to Oliver that bringing home the pizza was really hard for me to resist. ........

Exasperated sigh

I like to think that I'm a free floating, creative, don't need rules type of gal but the older I get, the more I realize that I do need structure. I'm the most horrible procrastinator and I find that I keep putting off my health, my desires for "Oh I will start tomorrow" and this also correlates with other things in life, like say "school work"? Or organizing the desk, or mopping the floor. Granted I have kiddos at home that do take a lot of my energy, not to mention a man that takes considerable energy (lol). And yes I realize I'm writing this blog in incomplete and run on sentences but its my blog. And I keep hanging on waiting for Oliver to jump back on the bandwagon with me but it only serves to frustrate him and myself and I'm left with a lot of anger. I'm not happy with the hanging on baby weight, nor am I happy with my sporadic ability to work out, or finish my school work, or the unmopped floors, or the billion other projects that need done. So I've put up a white board in my now converted dining room (aka my office) and have compiled a list. It's still quite messy and not really organized looking ( I guess much like what inside my head looks like).

So here are my commitments to myself:

•  I will work out M, W, F regardless if Oliver joins me (even though he says he will). I will not feel bad for waking him up early so that I can go to the gym. And when I say early I mean like 8:30 so that I can drop Jake off at school and then hit the gym by myself if he chooses not to go. 
• I will blog everyday REGARDLESS of how tired I am as this will help put me into healthy habit mode and keep me accountable. 
• I will continue to work on eating less cheese because the last month has been atrociously cheesy. 
• I will not try to dictate Oliver's diet even though he has asked/told me numerous times that I have to be in charge and although he is diabetic and needs help I just CAN NOT do it anymore. I have cajoled, bribed, guilted, shamed, begged, pleaded and tried to uplift, motivate, inspire.. on and on it goes. He ultimately makes his own decisions. I will give him huge kudos for the things he has given up and the progress he has made. My own success can not hinge upon his because clearly it is not working.
• I will stop procrastinating about school work and strive to have things done BEFORE the day before their due date. So my school organizational skills need a brush up and that messy white board needs an overhaul.
• Everyday in my blog I will post a few daily goals and their progress
• Everyday in my blog I will post food/exercise/mood tidbits
• Everyday I will post what I've accomplished school wise
• Everyday I will blog about what I'm grateful for. :)