Friday, November 4, 2011

Exasperated sigh

I like to think that I'm a free floating, creative, don't need rules type of gal but the older I get, the more I realize that I do need structure. I'm the most horrible procrastinator and I find that I keep putting off my health, my desires for "Oh I will start tomorrow" and this also correlates with other things in life, like say "school work"? Or organizing the desk, or mopping the floor. Granted I have kiddos at home that do take a lot of my energy, not to mention a man that takes considerable energy (lol). And yes I realize I'm writing this blog in incomplete and run on sentences but its my blog. And I keep hanging on waiting for Oliver to jump back on the bandwagon with me but it only serves to frustrate him and myself and I'm left with a lot of anger. I'm not happy with the hanging on baby weight, nor am I happy with my sporadic ability to work out, or finish my school work, or the unmopped floors, or the billion other projects that need done. So I've put up a white board in my now converted dining room (aka my office) and have compiled a list. It's still quite messy and not really organized looking ( I guess much like what inside my head looks like).

So here are my commitments to myself:
  •  I will work out M, W, F regardless if Oliver joins me (even though he says he will). I will not feel bad for waking him up early so that I can go to the gym. And when I say early I mean like 8:30 so that I can drop Jake off at school and then hit the gym by myself if he chooses not to go. 
  • I will blog everyday REGARDLESS of how tired I am as this will help put me into healthy habit mode and keep me accountable. 
  • I will continue to work on eating less cheese because the last month has been atrociously cheesy. 
  • I will not try to dictate Oliver's diet even though he has asked/told me numerous times that I have to be in charge and although he is diabetic and needs help I just CAN NOT do it anymore. I have cajoled, bribed, guilted, shamed, begged, pleaded and tried to uplift, motivate, inspire.. on and on it goes. He ultimately makes his own decisions. I will give him huge kudos for the things he has given up and the progress he has made. My own success can not hinge upon his because clearly it is not working.
  • I will stop procrastinating about school work and strive to have things done BEFORE the day before their due date. So my school organizational skills need a brush up and that messy white board needs an overhaul.
  • Everyday in my blog I will post a few daily goals and their progress
  • Everyday in my blog I will post food/exercise/mood tidbits
  • Everyday I will post what I've accomplished school wise
  • Everyday I will blog about what I'm grateful for. :) 

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